Do Men really like Aggressive Women??

Posted on September 23, 2009. Filed under: Double Standards, Life, Love, Relationship, Uncategorized, Vixen Tells | Tags: , , , , , , |

…as some of you may know, who read my comments and posts all over the net, that I have been involved with My Mr. for about five years. We have a great loving relationship now, but took a while to get there. We’ve had our share of ups and downs. We’ve had a few more than I would like to admit but we’ve persevered through it all.

When we met each other five years ago, I was this very shy laid-back person. I can say that I am still true to that persona. I’ve never been a talkative person, I observe. I stay to myself and don’t like to talk about my business. I’ve always been this way, but have become much more open around people that I trust…except My Mr. I trust him and I do feel like I can tell him anything,but in certain situations I hold back.

In light of working on our communication he told me that, he “wants me to be more aggressive in the bedroom and he doesn’t want to always have to initiate sex.” I understand, whole-heartedly where he is coming from, but I just don’t know how to do that. There have been many times where i’m at home alone and think, “OK now, when he gets home i’m going to do this and i’m going to do that.” However, when I hear that bass and those keys I freeze up.

Deep down inside, I feel like if I do initiate sex or act like I want it, he will not like me as much anymore. I believe that he will think I just go after guys wanting sex from them. I don’t want to destroy the good girl image* that he has of me.

So, people, it’s obvious that I need help. How can I make myself more comfortable around him?? There are times when i’m laying next to him and want to do it, but I just can’t bring myself to make it happen. He tells me that he wishes I would. He tells me that he would love it, but I can’t actually take myself there. It’s hard to get into that aggressive mode. I’ve never had to before but I want to make our relationship better.

*P.S…, I want to clarify that “good girl image” is not an image, it really is true. In my lifetime I have only had sex with one other guy && I don’t smoke and really don’t drink either, only socially.

Any Suggestions???


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5 Responses to “Do Men really like Aggressive Women??”

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Girl please. Get over that perception you THINK, he will have. Trust me if he told you thats what he wants,…thats what he wants. Ya’ll have been together 5 yrs! His perception of you is already there!Good or bad,theres nothing you can do now to alter it.i told my wife of 5 yrs thats what I want, and because she is not,its opening my eyes to situations I PERSONALLY dont want to get in. But shes scared to but because of rejection.I tell her after 5 yrs theres nothin u can do wrong with me sexually unless its “nothing at all!”

Well thanks for that…in ways I already know that but I just need to take that step..

Ur welcome,and heres the funny thing! I would want my wife to be aggressive but just by the initiation! After that Im taking over regardless.So its just that first step,come in the bedroom with a new costume or pounce on em.But after that your work is done! 🙂

Ok, i had this problem before as well. i later dropped it because i realized if i wanted it and my man (at the time) was willing to give it, why be afraid to initiate it? sooo, i started off simple by asking for or taking a hug or reaching for the remote that was in his lap and letting that escalate to a longer than normal touch followed by a gaze ( you know how to give the “come f*@# me” gaze),lol! then i would pay special attention to one of his errogenous zones neck, ears etc. that would start the fire everytime. or to be more bold about it…if you all are just chilling watching tv, say you have to go to the bathroom or say nothing at all and go to the bathroom of bedroom and put on something sexy. come back to your man and straddle his azz. grab his face and tell him all the nasty things that you are gonna do to him! that one made my man (at the time) go crazy!!

Kudos to you!

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