Rants

Sorry you Guys, but i’m back now!!!

Posted on October 28, 2009. Filed under: A Day Off Work, Problems, Rants, Vixen Tells | Tags: |

I am so sorry to all of the people that follow my site, or even visit me and have been waiting on new content. My internet has been down for a long time, and then I was in the process of moving back and forth from Oakland to Stockton, CA.

I haven’t had much time to post with all the things going on in my life right now, but I promise to do better!!

Thanks to the people that have still been visiting my site!!!

—Just wanted to Apologize!

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It’s that Natural Hair Time AGAIN!!! Post #3 9/10/09

Posted on September 10, 2009. Filed under: Hair, Hair Journey, My 2 Cents, Random, Rants, Style, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

It’s PRODUCT REVIEW TIME!!. This is my first actual review on just one product and I wanted my first review to be on the product that I love the most. Whenever i’m styling my natural hair I HAVE to use this product to get and maintain my style throughout the day.

I have been using this product for about two months now and I am loving it!! It helps so much with the transitioning process, as well as styling. I really don’t know how I ever did without it. That’s when you KNOW you’ve found a good product, when you feel like you’re hair isn’t the same without it. Yea, that’s how I feel about this product. So, as some of you know, I am in the process of a Natural Hair Journey. I have chopped off the back of my hair and left the front longer, for styling purposes. When I was permed however, I was always looking for the one product that would give me that extra little smoothness that this product ….

ecostyler gel

gives you.

**Sidenote* I just want to make it clear this product is great for natural or relaxed hair.

I had searched high and low for the right type of gel, could never find it, so I gave up on gels all together. This was at a time when I was a lot younger. I felt like my new growth had to be tamed. I had to make it look like I had a fresh relaxer. See, that’s just part of the entrapment that a relaxer causes to someone that uses them. Every single gel I used back then either made my hair extra hard or extra flaky. I’m sure many of you (that use gel) have experienced what i’m talking about. You gel your hair down for a style one day and then the next day it is full of little brown crusty thingys. Lol. 

We women know that is not a good look but sometimes it’s hard to find a gel that doesn’t produce those side effects.

Now i’ve found one. Even though this is a great product however, I don’t want to be misleading and not give a person interested in this product all of the facts. This EcoStyler gel can  make your hair a little hard but it does easily wash out. When you’re rinsing it out it feels as if you’re dealing with conditioner and there is practically no build-up with this product. Once you gel something down, trust, IT WILL STAY DOWN AND BE TAMED LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS! Lol. You don’t have to constantly re-gel.

**a little tip* if you add something under the gel, such as Shea Butter, Cantu Leave-In or some type of protectant then that alleviates the hardness issue.

Even though i’m ranting and raving about his product I can’t take all the credit for finding it. On my YouTube I have subscribed to many natural ladies who are doing their thang in the self hair-care world. One of my fav’s however is PrettyDimples01. She always used to (and still does) rave about the EcoStyler Gel. I know, by how much  she was talking about it that it had to be a good product. After trying it, I knew she was right and I will probably never use another Gel in life.

**Sidenote: It was a little hard for me to find, but Sally’s should have it. When I bought it the price was around 2 for $5 for a big jar of it (like the picture) so it’s a great value!

So, I hope this post helps out some of my African-American natural and relaxed ladies (Yea, we don’t discriminate around these parts!!)

If you’re looking for a nice gel then try this one and tell me what you think.

If you already are using EcoStyler Gel let everyone know what you think about it, good or bad.

If you use something else enlighten me/us on that as well!

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Men && Women just don’t respect Relationships anymore!?!? It’s a Cheater’s PARADISE!

Posted on August 28, 2009. Filed under: Cheating, Double Standards, Life, Love, Men, Random, Rants, Relationship, Women | Tags: , , , , , , |

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According to MomLogic.com. Out of 3,300 women polled:

— 52% of women have had sex with a married man
— 81% of women have been approached by a married man
— 60% of married men cheat
— Only 12% of women felt guilty about cheating
— A shocking 5% used a condom regularly

Sometimes, I think us ladies have a hard time believing that the man we are with is cheating on us. I have been in the situation myself and sometimes a woman can know in her heart that their “significant other” is out doing wrong but time and time again we need that SOLID proof. Something that will convince us that he’s doing what we HOPE TO GOD he is not. We need pictures, confirmation from his friends or other females. We take all of these steps while knowing deep down it’s unnecessary. I think women just don’t wanna feel duped. They want to be strong, they want to overlook the fact that “their man” doesn’t love them as much as he says he does. They want that man to know he is caught. We think by us catching him that he will instantly change…WRONG.  A person won’t change until they are ready unless they really really want to save the relationship.

 I believe you can’t have love without trust and honesty. If there is an open relationship  and line of communication from the beginning and each person knows their role from the  then that’s something totally different. However, relationships usually don’t go in that direction.

In today’s America there seems to be a loss of respect for a relationship. Whether you are married or just a girlfriend, our men have loss sight of the fact that when you choose to be in a relationship, you choose to be with that person and only that person.

All too many times us women continually forgive and forget. We are giving these men power over us. We are giving these men ammunition to think that it’s OK to treat us women in that way. Now, I’m not the type to say all men are “dogs,” but the ones that “are” have been made to believe that they can get away with it. If a women lets a men disrespect her why would he ever do anything but that. He’s still getting everything he wants from that women, so why treat you like the Queen you are?? I know many guys that have said they had to barely do anything to get a chick to buy them a car, pay a bill for them, or just flat out give them money. All they have to do is say

“oh yea, you’re my girlfriend!” “Oh yea, girl, OF COURSE I Love you.”

C’mon now. If that men isn’t putting in the time with you, if he isn’t uplifting you instead of taking from you then that’s not the man for you. That man doesn’t “love you,” that man loves what you’re doing for him.

NOT ALL WOMEN BUT SOME are like this. I have also been in this situation once (with a cheater, NOT with giving anybody my money) so i’m not trying to bash anyone. I can’t sit up here and talk about something that I know nothing about…so yea, but that’s my little disclaimer.

Back to the topic at hand, we give these men the power. When he “puts a ring on it” even after he’s cheated on you many times before, why in the WORLD would you think that just because the two of you said “I Do” that he really will. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t think I will ever marry. Everybody tells me that i’m crazy for not wanting to get married and i’m a women, but, to me, marriage is only A PIECE OF PAPER and a big ceremony people.

I REFUSE to get married and then get a divorce. If that’s gonna be the case we should have just kicked it and then broke up when we couldn’t stand each other, but now we have to deal with paperwork && the courts. For better or for worse is what marriage is supposed to be about, I know, but it’s also supposed to be about monogamy, so until I completely know that I have  THAT there will be no Queen marrying anybody…anywhere…anytime soon.

 

So, what you guys think about Marriage in 2009?

Is it the same? What has changed? Do you ever plan on getting married?

Do you think all men are dogs? Why or Why Not? Do you think there are still good men left?

Why is it do you think that we keep forgiving these men for treating us badly?

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Now…I ain’t saying you a Gold Digger, yo’ n*gga said that!!

Posted on August 10, 2009. Filed under: Job, Problems, Rants | Tags: , , , , |

As you can see from the title, this post is about alllll the females and males out there that are looking for another to support them. This is a way of life that I probably will never understand but maybe…hopefully someone can enlighten me further on this subject…

First, I wanna say that I have never been a Digger and I have never aspired to be one. The thought of being one never even crossed my mind. Since I was young I always knew that I wanted to be an independent person && I don’t ever wanna have to rely on anyone for anything. I would rather be able to stand on my own two feet. If anything, I would rather someone have to ask me for something than vice versa. I am, however, guilty of always thinking everyone is like me, or should at least be more like me I guess that’s why i’m so judgmental on the topic. I do know that those thoughts are unrealistic however, because people are gonna live their lives how they want regardless of what’s right and/or wrong.

Yesterday, me && my guy friend were talking about this subject as we were riding up to this restaurant we like. We started to just talk about this girl that he always says is so “fine” and so “bad” but she’s just a hoe && a Gold Digger. So anyway, he was basically telling me that she was the type of chick that only messed with guys that had money && was strong about it, like she was on some “NO exceptions type stuff.”

OK!? For what though? The chick is 22 or so and she doesn’t have anything to show for herself except what the next dude can give her?? Granted, she does now have a job. She’s a Bartendress and from what her sister says she makes good money but she is still out there…hunting. Searching for someone to pay her bills and whatever else..

So my guy friend was like, “Oh yea, now that I think about it she was probably only with me because of some chain that I had at the time.” He said she used to talk about the chain a lot and how much it “blinged.” WTF!? A chain?? Ok, i’m like I can understand if he was going to give her the chain but that wasn’t going to happen. He did say that the chain looked expensive, so that’s probably why she was with him. He LOOKED like he had a little bit of money. I think, at that point in time that was acceptable to her because she really had just started getting into the digging game. At that time she was probably still on small fish..hmmm..FAIL. This chick may be cute but you’re gonna sell your goodies for a chain that you’re not EVEN GOING TO WEAR!??! Yea, i’m definitely not getting that…&& won’t.

Ok, so next thing. I’m like dang, you are too pretty to be running after a guy just b/c of his money man. Doesn’t personality && a kind heart mean anything anymore?? I guess to some, like me, but girls like me are slowly dying out. We should be on an endangered species list for real though. There is nothing but Gold Diggers && Hoodrats running around claiming to be independent woman and don’t need a man, but the minute a guy flashes a BMW or a Hummer girls are ready to give it up.

I just don’t understand..

So anyway, my sister && I were talking on the phone the other day and she kinda explained to me that she doesn’t have to talk to a guy with money, but at least you have to be on your way there. She won’t talk to any one that is just plain broke and when she told me the reason it really did make sense. She was explaining to me that a guy w/ no money is willing to do anything to get it.

In life, as of that moment, getting money is his main priority so he will use a girl, steal, say whatever has to be said to get that out of that girl. She was basically saying if he doesn’t have it ($$) then he doesn’t care about life. His only goal is to get over and get up, by any means necessary. When she was telling me that I was like danngggg, that is soo true.

It really is, but still.

I’ve never been in the situation, for the simple fact that I never have given a guy money and I never will unless it’s a 50/50 type situation. I’m the type of girl that doesn’t mind going dutch or you know, one day I pay and one day you pay. As a matter of fact I really think that’s how it should be. Not one person should be carrying all the weight on their shoulders, but that’s just my opinion.

I mean, there are Gold Diggers on both sides. A girl always has another girl, or sometimes a guy in her ear talking about, “Yea I know you might not like him but girlllll get what you can get out of him.” I hate when someone tells me that. I’m not about to use the next person to get some money?! It’s just not that serious. I’d rather go out and find my own job and then not have to ask anybody for any money at all.

On the other hand too, a guy is always gonna try and test his boundaries and see what he CAN get out of a female. I think nowadays a lot of ladies are so pressed to have a man that they will try to buy his love && affection, which doesn’t work but they try this method anyway. Plus, you also shouldn’t do that because the minute you stop giving the money or when you’re unable to give the money anymore, I GUARANTEE that man is going to be gone right along with the funding opportunities. That’s how you will really know if you’re getting played.

Tell your “partner” or suspected Gold Digger that you don’t have the money for something when they ask. If they get all mad and don’t talk to you for a minute then you know you got a user on your hands and beware.

All I can say is that I HOPE you are not in Love and RUNNNNNNN!!!!!

So, I wanna know from the guys and girls reading this blog, have you ever been or do you know any diggers?? Why do you think they choose this lifestyle? Would you consider it?? What parts of my post do you agree and disagree with?

Inquiring minds would LOVEE to know..Lol.

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