Problems

Why do Abusers Abuse!???!???

Posted on October 30, 2009. Filed under: Abuse, Double Standards, Life, Men, My 2 Cents, Problems, Relationship | Tags: Reality, Relationships |

This has always been a topic that I wondered about. I’ve always wondered why men abused women existed and why there were women in the world that stayed in abusive relationships. First and Foremost, let me say that I don’t think it’s right for a woman to hit a man, or vice versa, but this post is geared towards all the male abusers out there and reading this post right now…

Me and My Mr. always have arguments about these sorts of topics. His claim to fame is that “A woman needs to stay in her place and she won’t have to worry about it.” I always say, “What is a woman’s place?? I have never come across ANY  reason why a man can talk sh&t, get in a womans face and a woman can’t do the same. I see no sense in that. I am a firm believer in the notion that everyone’s created equally. I have never prayed on any one simply because they seemed more fragile and more weak than I. That is cruel and doesn’t help me feel better about myself at all. If anything I try to uplift the “weak” so they won’t be taken advantage of by the next person that comes along. Anywho, I never understood why and when men thought it was OK to hit women. Was there a newsflash that I didn’t hear about?? I would think that hitting women would make you feel like less of a man, considering we’re supposed to be the more “fragile” of our species. It seems just a little too easy and the pattern that I have observed in abusers is one where they are always afraid of other confronting men that may cross the abusers path. So is it that they feel weak in the world and feel like letting out all of their anger and frustrations from that out on someone weaker than themselves? It seems that men are supposed to be our protectors but when we need protection from them, what happens then?

I know lots of outsiders (people looking into  an abusive relationship) would say, “why not call the police and why not just leave!?” However, sometimes it just isn’t that easy. Most of the time along with physical abuse comes emotional abuse and a very genuine fear of what will happen if they take these next steps. Especially when your fear for your family and/or your children.

I want men to know this and hear THIS if nothing else, there are many alternatives to hitting your lady. This should never even come across the mind as an option. When me and My Mr. are in the midst of arguing and I feel like it’s going too far, I usually just leave, cool off and maybe talk about it later.

—A few things to relieve stress to let go of Tension.

– Work Out

– Take up Boxing, or another Sport.

– Go Smoookke. (For all you smokers out there).

-Try to look at yourself as if you are out of the moment and in the room, what would your mother say?! What would you say if you were looking at yourself?

-When you feel the tension building, leave. Get in the car and go!

I want to talk a bit about the predatory side of abusing.  There are certain men out there that prey on a specific type of woman. There are men on Earth that enjoy beating on women. These are the types of guys that I never want to get involved with, meet, or even know. There is something really degrading and disheartening about the fact that a man will take his frustrations out on his wife or his woman, “the woman he’s supposed to love.” I do think there are men out there that get enjoyment out of someone else’s fear of them. I believe they crave and love that cycle of abuse, forgiveness, abuse and then again forgiveness. I guess that’s why these reality show brains came up with shows like “Snapped,” where women end up killing their husbands because they have been abused repeatedly until the point they are scared for their life and just can’t take it anymore. These women feel the only way to end their misery is to end their abusers life. That’s another thing, sometimes these women are so scared of their men they feel the only way to defend themselves is to resort to shooting, or killing their “victim” while in sleep mode or otherwise not aware of what’s going on.

I swear, abuse is a powerful thing. I know there are many aspects about this subject that I don’t know. I have done a little reading on the subject but nothing too extensive. I was just thinking about it and wanted to express my opinions on the topic.

Have any of you ever been in an abusive relationship? What came of it?

What if you found out the person you love is an abuser (emotional or physical), would you tell someone? Would you honestly try to leave?

What do you think about the women that end of killing their abusive husbands??